Why do people quit their jobs? Various polls tend to highlight recurring reasons; poor work-life balance, limited opportunities for advancement, low pay. And another reason. The toxic boss. Often it’s not bad companies that people quit. It’s bad bosses.
We spoke to Jaclyn, a social media copywriter in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, who quit her job because of an exploitative and unsupportive boss. We ask her about her experiences, how she dealt with the situation and whether she could have acted on any red flags before accepting the job. (Note: This interview took place in early 2022).
Hi Jaclyn. Thanks for speaking with us. When you joined your company as a copywriter, what were your first impressions?
Jaclyn: I thought that it was a really great place for me to kickstart my career, because it was my first job after graduation. I saw the interaction of my boss with her employees and I thought, this boss seems pretty good. And I felt quite welcomed there.
What were some of the things your boss did that changed your impression?
Jaclyn: My boss was pretty new in e-commerce, so she didn’t have much knowledge in digital marketing or copywriting. But she expected a lot from me and other staff. I didn’t study anything about social media or digital marketing in my college. This is also a very new thing to me, and she knew that. But she wouldn’t give a lot of support to me in terms of my work. Instead, she’d expect a lot from me and if I didn’t deliver up to her expectations, the treatment would be different. Other than that, the workload was definitely a lot. I had to do a lot of things that are not really in my job scope. So because of that I couldn’t really deliver the work in time and the quality of the work wouldn’t be as good as she wanted it to be. A lot of unrealistic expectations.
How would treatment differ when you delivered work that wasn’t up to her expectations?
Jaclyn: She wouldn’t really be angry at my face but slowly she stopped talking as much to me. If she’d have anything to say, she’d skip me and tell my colleagues, and then expect my colleagues to tell me. That’s just rude.
You mentioned that you were new to social media. Did you try to push back and explain that you were learning too?
Jaclyn: I tried to give her a hint. I requested some training. And she did give some training, a training program from the government, but that was it. Then one time a colleague and I actually told her we should hire someone that’s more senior since she didn’t really know what she wanted. So we should have someone that’s more senior who could guide us. But she said it would be useless.
Did it ever get to a point where you thought about raising a complaint to the HR department?
Jaclyn: We didn’t really have an HR department. It was a very small company. There were just around 10 people working there.
Looking back, were there any red flags?
Jaclyn: Big red flags. But because it was my first time looking for a job, I didn’t really think it through. Originally I rejected the job because it was a six day job. I thought it was a bit much for me at that time. But the boss kept calling me up and kept persuading me to accept the job. So initially I offered to be a freelancer, and she was like “ok”. And then she asked me to go for a meeting. I saw the interaction of her and her employees there, and I thought maybe this is a good place. This could be a good place for me to start my career. So in the end I just accepted the job.
Do you think her continually calling you was a deliberate tactic, maybe to make you feel valued, which would then influence you to accept the job?
Jaclyn: That’s what I felt. I talked about this to my sister who’s in HR and she said, this is not normal , that an employee would call you up and pressure you to accept the job. It’s not just that. She also talked badly about her previous employees. That was probably the biggest red flag. She said that her previous employees, she fired them in 2 weeks, in a few days, something like that. They weren’t really delivering the job and they had bad attitudes. She said that to me.
Was it just the boss that was the problem or was there an overall bad company culture?
Jaclyn: My colleagues were quite friendly to each other. The problem was really with the management. Colleagues shared their stories to me and it was through them actually that I learned another colleague was getting paid very little and was asked to do a lot more work. The boss really criticised her work but she was doing her best. We all saw how hard she was working and she didn’t even take leave when she wasn’t feeling well.
So as these things continued, you thought about leaving?
Jaclyn: At first, I thought about having to look for a job again. If I left, I’d be jobless. Also the job market wasn’t great. So I didn’t quit right away. The same goes for my colleagues. They couldn’t find a job out there so they had to stay.
Doesn’t sound like a particularly pleasant situation to be in. How did you feel at the time?
Jaclyn: I was really exhausted. It was really tiring because it was a six day work week. And I was always feeling as if I didn’t get enough rest, especially on Mondays. I had very serious Monday blues. I would just go to work like a zombie and feel very little motivation.
How did you finally quit?
Jaclyn: After my probation period, I had always thought about quitting. Our probation period was 3 months. But it didn’t happen until 10 months later. I quit because I heard my boss criticising me to my colleagues but doing it in a way that I could hear it. She said it very loudly. And I remember thinking, I cannot stay in this company anymore. I don’t want to work for this kind of boss. I wrote a letter of resignation and nicely told my boss I won’t be working there anymore. I don’t think she was surprised. At that time three other staff members were leaving. I was the fourth. So I guess she saw it coming.
Did you feel that you made the right decision?
Jaclyn: It was definitely the right decision. There was no growth for my career. I wasn’t learning much there and the management was really bad. I felt relief. I felt happy. It meant that I’d have new opportunities and I’d have a chance to go for a better company. But at the same time I felt a bit anxious as well because I didn’t have another job offer when I quit. And this is why it’s difficult. Not everyone can quit if they really need the income. It’s better to find another job before leaving. But for those that do quit, they can do something meaningful during the period of unemployment. They can still upskill themselves. They can still learn something. And now I’m more aware of red flags, how they speak to you and things like that. I’ll try not to repeat the same mistakes.
